RIP Kanye West: Your Death Has Been Interrupted

Listen Kanye, I want to be sad for you. But all the celebrity death hoaxes this year, besides yours, have been some of the best of all time. You see, if you had actually been in a luxury car accident, like everyone over on Twitter thinks you were, then maybe shit would be different. I can't cry for you since you aren't dead. Hell, I wouldn't cry for you if you were dead, but at least I would mourn the passing of one of the fastest growing jokes on the internet. You. Whether you provided the funny on purpose, or if it was just some drugged up and drunken stage-hopping moment to start all of this, it doesn't matter.

Kanye made us all laugh at him like no one else in the last... four months. For that we should be thankful. Now that he isn't dead, what are we all going to do? Can we have another fake celebrity death today too so that his fake celebrity death gets interrupted and upstaged in a manner larger than just my blog post? Someone, get to it. The interwebs need your help!